Our self-belief has a profound effect on our confidence and on
the quality of our lives. If a person believes that he lacks
basic skills to solve problems then he may lose heart and give
up. In contrast, a person who has less abilities but who
believes in himself stands a much better chance of being
successful. This is because his self-belief gives him the
confidence to try.
Have you ever wondered why only a few students in a class ask
questions? Is it because the others have understood all the
points made during a lecture? Or is it because they lack the
confidence to ask a question? More often than not, it is the
fear of making a fool of themselves that stops students from
asking questions. In other words, they lack self-confidence. The
only way this confidence can improve is when they start
believing in themselves.
This is why
self-belief is so important. It gives an individual
the confidence to aim for the moon. It overwhelms negative
thoughts, and drives away the fear of failure. It is the best
antidote against self-flagellation, which turns several talented
persons into under-achievers. It gives the students the
confidence that they have nothing to loose. On the contrary,
they realize that they have everything to gain by asking a
question, even if it happens to be a silly question.
Abraham Lincoln is a fine example of a man who believed in
himself. He lost every election until he went to the Senate and
stood for the post of the President. He did not allow his
failures in professional and personal life to erode his
self-belief. Had he done so, the history of the US would have
been different.
Self-belief gives us the confidence to accept failure. It
teaches us
the importance of positive thinking. Those who have
self-esteem don't talk about failures; instead, they try to find
out why they did not succeed. They look for lessons that can be
learnt from their experience. This is not a simple issue of
semantics. It is the power of positive thinking, and it is
available to only those who have self-esteem.
Once again it is self-esteem that gives us the confidence to
enter a new group, and become a part of it. Those who lack
self-esteem are very reluctant to approach a new group. They
don't want to expose themselves to the ridicule of being seen as
shy, nervous or ignorant. They would instead prefer to stay in
their corners.
In fact, lack of self-esteem stands out like a sore thumb at
parties, at meetings, at conferences and at social or official
functions. Individuals with low self-esteem avoid
introducing
themselves to others. They prefer to stay in the shadows, away
from the sights of others. However, their colleagues who enjoy
high self-esteem dominate the discussions. They are sought after
by others for information. They are also invited to other
meetings and parties -- all because their self-esteem gives them
the confidence to open up before a group of strangers. It is the
same student syndrome that is reflected in an individual's
working life too.
Low self-esteem also lowers an individual's self-confidence. He
takes to liquor or drugs to boost his confidence artificially.
Nothing can be more futile or dangerous. Such behavior further
destroys an individual's self-esteem. The best way to break out
of this pitiable situation is to build self-esteem, which is not
easy. The individual has few options but to begin life afresh.
The best is
to look for a new workplace and a new set of
friends, because it is easy to deal with people who have no
preconceived notions about you.
But nothing will work until the individual develops
self-respect, and the self-belief that he is as good as others.
He must realize that he is not the only one who has strong and
weak points; the others too suffer from the same defects. The
only difference is that the others project their strong points
whereas he projects his weak points. All that he needs is to
refocus his priorities. He will find the elusive self-confidence.
About the author:
Tony Robinson spent many years as a School Teacher and
Administrator. Always of concern was low self esteem and a lack
of confidence with some students. For more information visit
http://www.better-self-esteem.com
