I think it is appropriate to discuss what self-confidence is, before discussing how a self-hypnosis cd may help improve self-confidence.
We, as human beings, do many things on automatic pilot or without having to think too much about it... at least consciously any how. An example would be tying a shoelace. Even though we might have gone through a few years of fashion wearing slip on's, if we needed to, we would not find any difficulty in tying a shoelace. That is because we have done it so many times before that we know just what to do and do not have to give it too much conscious thought. So if you were to ask someone, how confident are you that you can tie a shoelace, they would probably say 'very confident'. They feel confident about it because they have done it many many times before successfully. In fact they now give very little thought to actions required to tie that shoelace as it all happens automatically.
This is a type of self confidence. Knowing something so well, that as the saying goes, you could do it with your eyes closed or you know it like the back of your hand.
When someone says that they lack confidence or have low confidence, they can so easily make the mistake of covering their whole life
with this description or tag. They might even say 'I never have any confidence in myself'. By saying this out loud to others who will listen, or thinking it to themselves they will be setting up a self-fulfilling prophecy. The label you give yourself or the label you accept as being true (whether from a friend, family member, colleague or even from school) will invariably mean that you start to fit yourself to that label, and, can make it your own living reality.
Yet, that person above will be able to do many things with confidence but, and here is the big 'but' they will not use these successes and evidence of confidence, as they should be used. They will ignore them or diminish them in some way (e.g. saying "I was lucky") so that they do not contradict this label that they have accepted of having no confidence. Which is a pity because it is only taking a realistic view of what happens in their world, will they then be able to feel more confident about themselves.
It can be quite amazing how someone will say they have no confidence and yet 5 minutes later they will tell you about some amazing things that they do such as talking in front of 10,000 people, or they go mountain climbing. Despite undertaking these events, which ordinarily seem nerve wracking events,
they may still say that they have low confidence.
So confidence or the lack of it, has a lot to do with how you view yourself. If this is the case then really it is down to a perception. Perceptions are not a true reflection of reality all of the time. Often perceptions even between just 2 people can be remarkably different even though these 2 people have in reality, experienced exactly the same thing.
Perceptions are the filters we use to process what happens around us. Our perceptions can make us feel good, bad or indifferent. They can give us a boost of energy or deflate us into an anxious and fearful mass. Our perceptions have power.
Our perceptions are, more often than not, based on our past conscious and subconscious experiences. They are our way of analysing what happens around and enabling us to decide the implications for us. When experiencing anything, our minds will very quickly compare the current experience to past experiences and, these past experiences will indicate how we should react to this current experience. If we have had a bad experience that seems very similar to the current experience, we will feel in a similar way to the feeling we associated with that past bad experience.
So our perceptions are based on past experiences
(mostly).
Once we realise this, we can take control of our perceptions and change them particularly when you accept how incorrect our perceptions can be. We have all had the experience of perceiving someone or some situation in a particular way, only to realise that we got it completely wrong. With this in mind, although our perceptions are a form or protection and are meant to enable us to weigh up a situation quickly, they can also be wholly inaccurate.
Positive and healthy self-confidence begins by accepting that your perception of yourself may just be wrong. For instance, some friends will be astounded when someone announces (may be on a drunken evening), how they feel they have such low confidence. These friends will say will all sincerity that they find this hard to believe as they always appear confident and in control. Yet that person will still insist that they lack confidence. Obviously the signals that they are externalising are not the same as those that they are internalising. Often the person who appears to be the most confident and out-going will have terrible doubts and internal conflicts. The external bravado will be they way of masking how they feel inside.
Good, strong and healthy self-confidence begins by admitting and accepting more
evidence of what you can and do well. It also begins by accepting as true those positive and complimentary comments made to you. In the past you may have dismissed a positive comment that was said to you because you didn't know how to handle it. You may even have made a joke of it or tried to dig up the tiniest fragment of evidence as to why you don't deserve such praise. Many people say something like this 'Oh, it was nothing'.
How can you possibly retain healthy self-confidence if you always dismiss or undermine your achievements? You can't, so decide from today not to do it. In fact decide from today to say just two words when some one says something nice or complimentary about you or something you have done. These two words are 'thank you'. Try it out next time and see how you feel about it. It will help you start to feel the confidence that has always been they’re waiting for you.
The use of a Self Confidence self hypnosis cd can help the mind to absorb positive suggestions for change. Changes in perception and behaviour are also encouraged.
There are other aspects to gaining healthy self-confdience which will be disussed in another article.
About the Author
Clinical Hypnotherapist
Self Confidence help
