People who have self-confidence believe in themselves and feel
that they are capable of achieving what they want in life, or
dealing with any situation that they may have to face. They have
an aura of self-confidence and self-assurance, which is apparent
to others. People like to spend time with them; they feel
comfortable and secure in their presence.
In contrast, there are many people who are reasonably talented,
but who lack self-confidence. These people are victims of the
several myths that surround self-confidence. One of the foremost
myths about self-confidence is that people are born with
self-confidence. It is a quality that cannot be acquired.
Nothing can be farther from truth. Self-confidence, like other
skills, can be built. All that you need is right guidance and
a
belief in yourself.
There are others who blame their low self-confidence to their
lack of good looks and poor upbringing. They don't realize that
self-confidence has nothing to do with their looks. It is a
reflection of one's confidence. The only way they can overcome
this myth is by learning to believe in themselves. In fact,
talent and self-confidence are not inter-related.
There are scores of talented actors and actresses who do very
well in their professions but whose personal lives are torn by
lack of self-confidence. It may sound contradictory, but this is
how life is. Talent can be an important component of
self-confidence, but it is certainly not a substitute for
self-confidence. So, don't worry about lack of talent. Harness
the skills that you
possess.
Another myth is that self-confidence is directly proportional
to the recognition and praise that an individual gets in his or
her life; the ones who are not so lucky wallow in self-pity.
Once again, there is little doubt that recognition and praise
make you feel good about yourself, and boost your
self-confidence. But you can't simply depend on the praise
lavished by others. You have to work hard to earn that praise,
and you can do this only if you are self-confident. The same
applies to those who are not successful. They, too, can earn
praise if they work hard and win people's respect.
Such people should look at children. Children believe in
themselves, and this gives them the self-confidence to try to do
things they have never done before, be it learning how
to cycle
or how to swim. In fact, no child comes into the world knowing
all the skills. But it does not take long to teach children most
of the basic skills. Then, why should it be difficult for adults
to learn new skills or brave new challenges?
Another myth is that only self-confident people can afford to
take risks. This again is not true. In fact, self-confident
people are more realistic about their capabilities. They know
what they can do, and what they can't do. More importantly, they
know how to deal with failures. In contrast, people who lack
self-confidence are afraid of failure. This fear prevents them
from taking on new tasks. They constantly pine for the approval
of others, and when they don't get it they end up losing their
self-confidence.
What is
apparent is the lack of understanding. People must
realize that self-confidence is a state of mind. It is not
dependent upon a person's beauty or looks. It flows from a
person's self-belief, and this belief can be built. All that a
person needs to do is to debunk myths that self-confidence
cannot be acquired or that self-confidence is a byproduct of
exceptional knowledge, skills and luck. Once they do so, they
will find it easier to acquire the same magnetic powers that
self-confident people have.
About the author:
Tony Robinson spent many years as a School Teacher and
Administrator. Always of concern was low self esteem and a lack
of confidence with some students. For more information visit
http://www.better-self-esteem.com
