Tease to PleaseWe've all heard about being "cocky and funny," or "confident and funny," or variations thereof. This article is going to start you on a path to meeting more women, the start of all your action. If you meet more women, you get more experience, you get more confidence, you get laid more, and more options open up to you. If you date only a few women, you tend to cling on to each as if she was your saving grace. Tease to Please works because it short-circuits her usual defense mechanisms to meeting 'strange' men. You see, every woman comes with her factory-installed defense mechanism against meeting new guys. When a guy approaches her, for any reason, she assumes you're picking up on her. It's what she's gotten used to. All women are by now, and they all have a standard routine of being a little stand-offish to you until you bust past this barrier. (For more details on the psychology of this, I'll have a comprehensive program out in e-zine form for you in about a month. Yes, I know, I'm hurrying it along. Probably less than a month.) You have 3 seconds from spotting a woman to when you approach her and say something to engage her interest. If you wait longer, your opportunity window closes faster than Ticketmaster can sell out Britney Spears tickets. In that 3 seconds, you do this : Look her over, and spot something about her appearance that you can comment on. Start with her shoes, and work your way up. DO NOT choose a physical body trait (like big earlobes, bubble-butt, pendulous breasts) to comment on. Especially not her overall attractiveness. You find one thing that you can say something about that will give you and inroad. This is your anchor. Once you've found it, you comment on it to her and smile at her, making strong eye contact. Example : She's got bright red shoes on. "Wow, those are ... interesting shoes. My sister might like a pair like that. Where'd you get them...?" Example : She's got a black denim dress on. "My sister likes dresses like that. Where'd you get it." (If you don't have a sister, use 'Aunt' or 'Cousin.' You don't have to lie.) She'll say something like, "Oh, I got it at Macy's" or something like that. You then nod your head and look at it for a second, as if you can't make up your mind about it. At no time do you ever throw out the usual nauseating male flattery approaches, like "Oh, that dress goes so perfectly with your cheekbones." (There is a time and a place for flattery, and it's not in an improvised meeting like this.) Flattery is the scream for approval of the desperate guy. You almost convey a look of inconvenience, that you went out of your way to comment on her alligator-skin shoes, or her denim skirt. The less she thinks you approached her out of sexual interest, the lower her guard is. Don't be insulting! Just be mysterious and ambiguous. (Her next mental question is: "Gee, I wonder if he likes my dress? He didn't say." ) From here, you bridge into the Tease portion of the conversation, and we'll cover that in the next installment. All there really is left to do is to keep her engaged in the conversation, show some confidence, and walk away with her phone number. Now, the typical question I get is "What if there's nothing out of the ordinary about her?" Simple: You make something up. There is always something you can find, and if it's not readily apparent, you make it up. If she's got clothes on (and even here in San Francisco, they still wear clothes) you can find something to pick out. I recommend looking for jewelry, because every woman takes a lot of thought in selecting her jewelry. For especially attractive women, you need to come on slightly more aggressive, and it pays to use a combination of the negative-hit with this. I even recommend that when you get used to this technique, you use it exclusively. When you're comfortable with it, it makes more impact. You say just one thing, and it's so easy you'll have a tough time forgetting it: "Your dress/shoes/blouse/jacket/purse (whatever) caught my eye. I think you should try it in black, instead. You'd look better with it in black instead of gray." (Choose the color accordingly.) You nod your head, again meeting her eyes full-on. Her head will suddenly spin ... "But... but... all the other guys said I looked like a fashion model with this on... What do you mean ?" By using these approaches, you've just flipped her trust switch in her head. You see, she starts out needing to find a reason to be interested and trust you - or quickly categorize you as a friend (i.e., non-lover). If you just start talking to her neutrally, she's wondering, "Is he safe?" For all she knows, you're a nut-case looking to pull her into a pyramid marketing scheme. NOW, all of a sudden, she is suddenly told (by your words and actions) that you might not be so interested. You're different - i.e., INTERESTING. You don't need anything fancy or clever. You don't need anything special to comment on. You just take *whatever* she is wearing or holding and comment on it AS IF IT WERE different or interesting. Then, by virtue of following it up with a quick tease, you get her mind off her initial defense (IS HE SAFE?) and on to validating herself a little to you. This is the primary psychological underpinning of the whole "Cocky and funny" routine. And I just gave it to you in a more workable format. What most guys will do is to spend all their energy trying to climb over her initial trust hurdle, when they really need to focus on getting her to flip that switch in her head by making HER the one to present herself to you. (This will be more apparent when I explain the Tease portion in our next installment.) Most guys will take any approach and shoot it down and find everything they can about what's WRONG with it before they will go out and use it and make it work. My advice to you is to prove it won't before you even think about coming back to me with a rebuttal. I know that I'll get scads of letters asking me what to do in X situation or Y situation, but it makes NO difference. You only have to spot one anchor on her to comment about. I use it all the time, and it is very effective. ANYTHING can work, if you just use it in the right way. I just gave you the first half of a technique that works ANYWHERE, ANYTIME. The best part about it is that it is simple, universal, and effective. All you have to do is to find your target, find an anchor, and start your Tease ... but only to please... Copyright © 2003-2005. All Rights Reserved.
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