Over the past few years, I discovered a few personality traits about myself that I wanted to change. When it comes to relationships I have had a hard time changing. I am stubborn. And, I don't like change. Sometimes, when you are set in your ways, change is hard.
Finding love has always been hard for me. I think I had found that special woman that I will wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but then the bubble would burst. I discovered that what I wanted from the relationship and what I actually had was vastly different. Probably my expectations were too high. I just wanted love, to be loved and to share my life with a special person. The women I tend to fall in love with tend to have different ideas. Some of the women wanted to be supported, some seemed to just want a friend and then some really didn't know what they really want.
I found that I tended to stay in the relationship too long. I didn't leave
when I knew I should. I did this because I always had hoped that the relationship would change for the better. I had discovered that this is a false hope and never got better.
My problem is that I am was easy. What people call a pushover. It probably is a combination of low self esteem, shyness and having a really easy personality. I try to take life in stride. Even though I think I know what is happening, it is still really easy to take advantage of me.
My love life had gotten so bad that after my last relationship I decided I never wanted another relationship again. I was finished with this search that I have been told from childhood. It was the fantasy that I must seek and find the right woman to share a life with, to support and take care of. I came to believe that that was "garbage" advice. I would take care of these woman buy they never gave back to me.
But, Internet dating has helped me slowly
understand and change my personality traits. I have registered with a few online dating sites that I had researched on Google and found on dating site directories. I did not go to to the big boys, like eHarmony or Match. I stayed with the smaller sites, to learn and get comfortable with this new form of finding a companion.
I first started with a dating site, which is now out of business, because it had a forum area. In the evenings after work I would go and log into the forum to meet new people. I met both men and woman and many had similar experiences to me. I felt comfortable, because, I was anonymous, and could make myself known only when I wanted. I guess this is the shyness in me. I then moved onto another site I found on Google and sounded fun. It turned out to be a good decision.
I found a community of people with similar interests that I quickly started to make friends with. I also was able to find
friends in my local city and we started to hang out. We occassionally as a group would meet in restaurants and other times meet for drinks. It was a comfortable setting for me and a lot of fun.
Well, about 3 months after joining the dating site forum, I met a woman that seemed to share similar interests as myself. We made each other laugh and actually we both were in no hurry to meet face to face. We were having so much fun on the internet with each other we were afraid it wouldn't last if we met face to face. This went on for 7 months until I got up the nerve to invite her out to one of our groups get-togethers at a local restaurant.
To my surprise meeting her in person for the first time was like meeting someone I always knew. It was a very comfortable feeling to meet someone the first time, but know all about her because we had been conversing on the forum for so long.
Well, to make a long story short,
we went out with the group a few more times before deciding to go it alone by ourselves. It has been 2 years with this wonderful woman and I have never been happier. It took me 30 years to find the woman of my dreams. And, I am very happy.
Without the internet and doing some life searching and changing some of my personality traits, I don't know if I would have ever had the courage to really search for happiness.
I believe there are people like me who are also lost when it comes to dating. The best advice I could give them is find a dating site you are comfortable with a step in one foot at a time and find happiness. Good Luck!
About the Author
Ken Katz runs the www.web4love.com
