People today have taken to online dating like a duck to water.
Unfortunately, little innovation exists in the industry beyond
the humdrum of message exchanges between members.
A dating site, www.oasisoflove.com is taking the initiative of
surveying actual users to find out what they really think, and
hence take necessary action for improved experience.
In a recent survey, 200 female users ages 18 to 57 were asked
the same question:
"There are hundreds of thousands of men out there looking, yet
women claim they can't find a man. Would you say online dating
is working for you?"
The following are some of their responses, straight from the
horse's mouth:
1. "many women use dating services as a chatting network. A lot
of people are too scared to
actually meet people off the
internet... "
2. "women can't find men because most men near my age are
looking for a young 20-30 year old hard body barbie!"
3."Women claim they can't find a man among those many many men
because women have standards that maybe those men don't fit
into"
4. "there is alot of pressure out there to 'Hook Up' right away,
and that's not what i am looking for."
5. "I delete the smokers pretty quickly ( how can he care about
me if he doesn't care about himself enough to not pollute his
body and others around him? )."
6. "I'm very hesitant meeting people off the internet because of
rape and murder"
7. "I know several people that have met and gotten married. So,
it's possible. It's just one way to try to find someone. I
haven't had any luck, but it's
still better quality than I've
found in the clubs."
8. "I have more trust in people in person than on the internet.
I don't even know if I'm talking to who they say they are..."
These are pretty profound responses. The message is loud and
clear, most women dating online are happy to chat, but highly
sceptical when it comes to meeting in person. The problem can be
summarized in one word - fear. Women are afraid to meet in
person.
But what is the source of this paralysing fear women have? The
answer is simple - the media gives heavy coverage to online
relationships that end badly, while almost zero attention is
paid to the successful ones. So in a woman's mind, online dating
must be bad if all she keeps hearing about it are the bad
stories.
Here are suggestions to men:
1. Stop with
the lies and embellished personal worth. If you
build an online relationship on deceit, eventually she'd find
out the real you, and you'd be back to square one.
2. A picture is worth a thousand words. Have dozens of pictures
of yourself taken in different places. Show your full body, not
just head shots. Food for thought, if you're dating someone in
real life, does she just get to see your head region or your
whole body?
3. Cool your heels. Do not rush into wanting to meet. That
scares women to death. It raises a red flag that you may be
desperate, or worse, a predator. Instead, try to pursue true
friendship first for a long while. She needs to gain your trust
first and foremost.
4. When the discussion about meeting has begun, ask her to come
with a friend if she so chooses. Suggest a meeting in
daylight,
and in a very public place. This gives her more confidence about
her safety.
5. Beware of time-wasters. You are barking up the wrong tree if
you're not diligent enough to separate the serious women from
those merely online to chat and tease. The chatters are mostly
time-wasters who use their time on a dating site as a pastime
activity.
The bottomline is, if online dating is to progress beyond just a
medium of message exchange, to actually meeting in person, men
must control their urge to meet after just a brief online
acquaintance. A woman's confidence in a man hinges on trust,
without which dating online is a mere waste of time.
About the author:
Richard Akindele is the Founder of http://www.oasisoflove.com, a
full-featured, and FREE online dating site.
